The list of me

• I love when it rains. 
• I cry. I cry when I'm angry, I cry when I'm sad. I cry when I'm happy. And I hate it.
• I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve. I hate that too.
• I don't always sleep. There are nights where I will stay up until a few hours before I have to get up and even then it's pretty much forcing myself to sleep.
• I have nightmares. About things I'm ashamed of. About things I want so hard to talk about but I don't trust easily.
• Trust is a major thing with me. Once it's gone, it's gone. There's no real fixing it.
• As a general rule, I don't typically trust guys.
• I don't trust myself in relationships. 
• The only time you should worry when I'm angry is if there are no tears. When I'm past the point of no return, my hands shake. But usually if I'm to that point I seclude myself. 
• There are time periods, sometimes days at a time, where I don't want anyone to touch me. 
• There are time periods, sometimes days, where my mind gets stuck in a rut and I am down in the dumps. This is usually around the same time periods as me not sleeping.
• I want so hard to believe that there is someone out there for me to love, but it hurts to much to keep trying and failing.